1st term review:P

With the term ending this week, its an apt time to look back and introspect on the last 3months that i have spent in cal since june mid. Its been a roller coaster indeed what many of my family and friends told me about, but somehow it seems as if yeh roller coaster mein abhi tak bhi i have not settled down.
Academics related issues are there, and it all got worse with a grade drop in BS due to attendance funda...number laane ka bahot mann hai par padne ka nai:( dunno panga hai kya.
Number aaye ya na aaye...waise toh nai aayenge fir bhi...haan toh no aaye ya nai...the bottomline is i dont deserve even a 5pointer.
upar se agar banda is trying to study toh fir kam ban jaaye..par agar bigadne ka no ilaaj besides enlightenment of course or passion for something. Inspiration leta hun pehle ki tarah from everyplace but ders not been many sources somehow...maybe coz of the lack of bollywood movies that i m watch these dayz:P

Also was suffering from viral conjectivitis for the whole week before the exams so couldnt attend much of classes, padai toh bhool hi jaao. But to take it positively..saala achcha hi hua ki 1st term mein hi saara ka saara darr nikal gaya...iim or no iim agar banda marks ko dil se na le..aur end mein thoda bahot fight maare toh pass hona is not difficult to achieve.

BTW going/coming to delhi in about 2.5weeks time...suddenly feeling good good about it all..ki chalo xams se pehle ek baar ghar toh ho aaunga:)

Rest all is fine...bas thoda sa boring ho gaya hun...thoda sa passion kam...but all else is intact...infact well intact. Morality's reached such high levels these days ki kabhi kabhi khud bhi darr lagta hai ki...kahin kuch over toh nia ho raha...but this kinda crisis is good for sure...and i am happy about it:)

BS class aur main !

Ignorance is bliss ka typical example..hai yeh. All through my life i have believed myself to be in the category of 'good' human beings...not coz i actually am one...but because i am ready to learn and recraft myself according to what i feel is the best thing...matlab just realize karne ki der hai.

And obviously if this is the case then i should have done something on similar lines...but this Behavioural Sciences class i attended today refuted all my prior misconceptions:(
We talked about some personality traits and a caselet on an IIM A grad disgruntled with his life.
Somehow I could cent percent relate with the worst personality trait and this particular guy..the lack of goal setting and haziness of vision did him in...and so might be the case with him.
Optimism hai..bahot hai..itna hai ki tapakta hai :P...but aage ka kya pata..i should have a goal..an aim..woh pura ho ya nai...thats another thing. All this while its been a ganga mein haath dhone wala scenario but who knows whats in store aage...jab crisis situation aayega tab would my optimism be able to steer me clear from it all...or would i buckle under pressure coz i actually never wanted to do what i did...be it MBA, Engg or whatever.
Ajeeb sa self doubt create ho gaya aaj...just hate it..aage se BS ki classes skip karne ka plan:P

Wanted to pen this thing..coz agar baad mein kabhi a case study is written on me toh sabko pata hona chahiye that Rohan had a hint...but was too immature to actually find an answer. And yea in case i find a way out...saala itna bhi immature nai hun, chance hai abhi suharne ka...fir toh i wont be a case study material:(

Song of the post:
'Bakhuda tumhi ho...har jagah tumhi ho..' by Atif Aslam and Alka Yagnik.

STRUGGLE TO WAKE UP AND GET STARTED !

Still having a hangover of the late night marketing case study discussion followed by the Dramatics club practise, I wake up rubbing my eyes. One look at the watch is enough to put my system on move, the adrenaline rushing through. All this even though I could manage just 2.595783hours of sleep last night....will I, will I not...will I will I not be able to make it on time for the BS class ? The last time Saurabh came a minute late...the door was shut in front of him...sad though, since he was standing on the wrong side of it.
No time to think, just enough time left to brush my teeth, put on my clothes, put jam and butter on the bread and eat it along my 10min walk from NH to the lecture hall. Seems like quite possible in 15-20minutes...doesn’t it? Yes it actually is that ways, given that u find your comb and keys easily, given that there are not more than 3people in the line for breakfast and, last but not the least, given that crows of the campus pity you.
Half jogging and half running is enough to reach L2 in time, meaning just in time. Eyes of the teacher letting me know in a single look about how lucky I am!
Motivation, Perception and group theory might seem boring but when the quiz is scheduled for the next day...one better pay attention. The 3 lectures besides this one, scheduled for the day, go on smoothly.
Lectures pass by, presentations and case studies, discussions with peers and faculty, club meetings, working for the festivals...but what remains is the struggle...the struggle to succeed...the struggle to surge ahead and save that one minute...which would make all the difference.Will I, Will I not...?

PS: Work of fiction...not even remotely related to the dram cell. And also my marketing case study is still a week away.
PS2: Song of the post is th classic 'na jaane mere dil ko kya ho gaya' from DDLJ. Udi sings as if hes the maharaja of the world..with such an open throat...such true feelings ki hadh nai.

Btw ek bad news bhi hai...got chucked out of JBS but good thing is that was chucked out after listening to 4 of my songs:P ohh i pity them so much:)

naam mein kya rakha hai ?

I somehow feel that in spite of the innumerable raised eyebrows i got from people to whom i narrated the lines written in the last post...its one of the very few succinct posts i have ever written. For some one who understands duress i was under during that time...its completely relevant and makes sense. It conveys much more than reams and reams of pages...on my philosophy, girl psychology, and bollywood:) waah kya combo hai.

Talking about Bollywood, it surely influences my thought process and hence my decisions at more stages than anyone else i know of. Their is so much inspiration to draw from including that of how not to be a bad example:) that i end up feeling elated even after a movie as insipid as Salaam Namaste...yes i really blew up 125bucks on this one.
And yea Om Jai Jagdish still remains my favourite...as far as inspiration quotient is concerned.

Inspiration se yaad aaya...there is this person in Hindu Mythology who on a long journey without any companion felt the lack of motivation...which he eventually drew out of non-living things like trees,leaves,river,flowers,sand grains,fire,sky and also birds,dogs,bullock. And then when he finished this journey of his, he was an 'enlightened' person.

Just like above...i end up forgetting names of most of the people i read about. And sometimes even the people i meet. 'Naam bhool jaayega, chehra yeh badal jaayega...meri awaaz hi pehchan hai' but apne ko toh awaaz bhi yaad nahi rehti:(
Somehow i end up remembering only their current standing, purpose of talking and nothing more than that. Memory loss nahi hai...its just that we end up remembering only the stuff we give more importance to.

Talking about memory and brain functions...According to some studies Albert Einstein had a brain size 15% larger than an average human being. This information i gathered at one of the GDs i attended. GDs according to me are an immense source of knowledge, in 15mins flat one ends up learning about the topic in good detail. If made a regular in classrooms today they would help pupils a long way in life...of course also coz of the behavioural learnings.

I guess that would be enough. This post proves that had i taken part in Spin-a-Yarn this Moksha...the tally would have been 6:)


Song of the Post:
'Humein jabse Mohabbat ho gayi hai' from Border. Sonu Nigam and Akshaye Khanna complement each other quite well...Both deep characters, one in voice...the other in thought...not sure about it though...it just seems that way.

arbit...

Mere jaise genuine bande jab bus, train ya ladki ke peeche bhaagte hain...then it is not supposed to be called as an act of honesty:(

aur jab role reversal hota hai toh...hum hi hum hain toh kya hum hai...tum hi tum ho toh kya tum ho:)

bas chaabi ghumani hai...

Life should have become simpler after getting calls but instead the workload has become rather complex. For the first time since school have i started feel that 'onus on me' thing. Shuffling between mock GDs, PIs and classes is starting to become more enjoyable as i take this as an opportunity to learn...not from the perspective of cracking B-school GDs, PIs but just to improve myself. Keeping busy is an activity most NSITians stay away from unless the exams are a week away, so i am kind of happy for myself at this point in time.

Now what i need to do is to pursue my dreams more aggressively and grasp the importance of the safe whose key i have already located...bas ab chaabi ghumani hai.
I completely accept that i am not as smart as my result says...but then i am not that foolish to let it go away too easily:)

This post is just to motivate myself to do well...aapke padne ke liye nahi hai:)

now for the song of the post:
its the song from 'papa kehte hain'....'pehle pyar ka pehla gham'...absolute beauty...kavita krishnamurthy at her best...what attracts me is the melody of the song in spite of it being a sad one. Also i feel a song cannot get as simple as this.

fundas galore...

So finally with FMS today, all my written B-School entrance papers come to an end...It has been a long and arduous journey but i am pretty happy with the way i performed all through. Happy not because I cracked all the exams i sat for, because i actually wasn't able to do that, but because i did not buckle under the pressure...i was pretty cool about the whole affair, about peer and parents' pressure...though it is very likely that my decent placement had an important role to play in the same.

Some of the gyan that i would like to share with you all is as follows:

(1) don't take it to your heart, once a winner always a winner...and once a loser doesn't mean you cannot win the next day.

(2) luck plays a huge role in these exams especially when we are in a country like India with more than 2lakh people sitting and only 1200 odd seats to be filled. Luck factor with hardwork + smart work, can be minimized but only to an extent.
So basically any of the exam days can be your lucky day...every dog has its day and so can you...how else can one explain pathetic 2707 rank in jmet one day and iim calls on another day?

(3) Don't take too many exams, i committed a mistake by giving every B-School entrance exam i had heard of. Instead of that the need is to focus on 3-4important ones, because the day you lose your intensity half the battle is already lost and it'll take a herculean effort to get back to winning mode.

(4)pado...zaroor pado...bahot pado but never take the confidence in your studies/preparation/hard work to your head.

(5) I have already mentioned that you need to be lucky to do well...talking about an average Joe like me...so i feel that one should try and ride on that luck...agar luck hoga tabhi admission hoga...so why not take full advantage of it? in short attempt questions if you have shortlisted even 2 options, and give your hunch a lead over intellect.

and yes as far as the CAT result goes...i got 2 missed calls...the rest i was able to pick up:)