Some ideals worth seeking...

Wisdom
Enlightenment
Forbearance
Clarity
Strength
Peace
Humanness

Seems lyk something's wrong with me..!!

1. Humility bilkul nahi hai...maybe sometimes i come across as a very down to earth person, maybe sometimes as an over confident fool...but the truth is that success does give me an illusion about myself....its gets into my head...and however hard i try it becomes diffcult to get back on earth.
2. Lack of a routine...i can sleep at any point of time and wake up at any point of time....my family members have been too supporting for my own good...their filial love doesnt allow them to mind, if i dont take any reponsibility and enjoy all the rights....i dont even know who the 'dhobi' and who the 'jamadaarni' is...the other day i gave 11clothes to the latter for pressing...and she gladly accepted them as a 'baisakhi' gift....4hrs was the tym gap between my realisation of this blunder and us getting back the clothes from her home....it was during this time that i realised ki bhaiyya kuch galat ho raha hai lyf mein apan ke saath.
3. Ability to focus...cannot concentrate on a single thing for a long period of time...say 2secs:)....my mind flits like a bird from 1 corner to another....and in the end landing up at the same place from where it started.
4. i indulge in Moral high ground seeking activity everytime...its another thing i need to rectify...and if not rectify then atleast realise that it needs no rectification...yeh toh sounds lyk 'aayega aayega mein aayega aayega kitni baar aayega'?
5. Jo waqt ki kadar karega, waqt ussi ki kadar karega....i have been preaching this all along...but i need to engrain it into my own system...killing time is one thing i need to get away from...bhaago !
6. kahin cutting na ho jaaye...everytime some1 asks me to do a work..i make sure if hes doing an equal amount too....means har waqt darr hai ki saala kahin cuttting na ho jaaye...just want to get rid of this....if i can be unequally kind, unequally forgiving....then y not this ?? karma yoga ke upar kitaab padni padegi lagta hai...i need to realise ki 'aakhir thoda time hi extra lagega na, meri kismat toh nahi le jaayega koi...'!!
7. frugalness is again somehow embedded into my soul...no probs with saving money but feeling bad if i ever do so is wrong, feeling bad if some one eats up the green stuff belonging to me, woh bhi galat hai...i need to learn to jus let it go....ek jaayega toh baad mein 100times multiply hoke aayega...
8. Sometimes i feel i get too religious/superstitious...it all started from somewhere else but now it seems to have become an integral part of me...maybe its good, maybe its bad...but it drives my faith, and sometimes it hinders my thinking capability...so i m as confused as ever bout this...so bas decide karte hi corrective action leta hoon..so dont worry bout it...k?
   
9. Got acquainted with mr tom moody recently....and he told me ki bhaiyya aap bhi meri tarah moody ho...bas difference itna hai that i am one in name while you lived upto my name...pichle janam mein bhai-bhai rahe honge pakka....
10. searching for 1 more....mil gaya...The surroundings, the environment, the family support, wht people would think, how they would respond...all tend to hav an adverse effect in my decision making...i think its all about a lack of focus...coz thts when one starts to seek refuge outwards rather than inwards.
11. ek aur yaad aa gayi....egotist,ego-centric,egoist...all 3 r different words...like hepatitis a,b,c and i am afflicted by all 3 of them...koi vaccine hai market mein iske liye toh do temme?
    
12. the way i conduct myself in a group sometimes is just not correct, getting too animated and emotional at times is yet another thing bad about myself...
    

12 is a big number no doubt...intially wanted to write just 5....those close to me might have already been able to guess them all....its just introspection, retrospection and planning ahead that would earn me a shackle free life...hope to be as pure as a child, as white as snow and as happy as a bird....

Fab hai yeh gaana toh !!

The following is a song from 'Kashmir Ki Kali':

Ek thaa gul aur ek thee bulbul dono chaman mein rahate the
hai ye kahaanee bilkul sachchee, mere naanaa kahate the
bulbul kuchh aise gaatee thee, aise gaatee thee, aise gaatee thee

fem-kaise gaatee thee

bulbul kuchh aise gaatee thee, jaise tum baatein karatee ho
wo gul aise sharamaataa thaa, aise sharamaataa thaa, aise sharamaataa thaa

fem-kaise sharamaataa thaa

wo gul aise sharamaataa thaa, jaise main ghabaraa jaataa hoo
bulbul ko maaloom naheen thaa,gul aise kyon sharamaataa thaa
wo kyaa jaane usakaa nagmaa,gul ke dil ko dhadakaataa thaa
dil ke bhed naa aate lab pe, ye dil mein hee rahate the
lekin aakhir dil kee baate,aise kitane din chhoopatee hain
ye wo kaliyaan hain jo ek din, bas kaante ban ke chubhatee hain

ek din jaan liyaa bulbul ne,wo gul us kaa diwaanaa hai
tum ko pasand aayaa ho to boloo,phir aage jo afasaanaa hai

fem-bolo na chup kyon ho gaye

ek duje kaa ho jaane par, wo donon majaboor huye
un dono ke pyaar ke kisse, gulashan mein mashahoor huye
saath jiyenge, saath marenge, wo dono ye kahate the

fem-phir kya hua

phir ek din kee baat sunaaoo,ek sayyaad chaman mein aayaa
le gayaa wo bulbul ko pakad ke,aur diwaanaa gul murjhaayaa
shaayar log bayaan karate hain,aise unkee judaayee kee baatein
gaate the ye geet wo donon,saiyyaa beenaa naheen katatee raate

mast bahaaron kaa mausam thaa, aankh se aansoo bahate the
aatee thee aawaaj humeshaa, ye jhilmil jhilmil taaron se
jisakaa naam mohabbat hai wo, kab rukatee hain diwaaron se
ek din aah gul-o-bulbul kee, us pinjare se jaa takaraayee
tootaa pinjaraa, chhootaa kaidee,detaa rahaa saiyyaad duhaayee

rok sake naa usko milake, saaraa zamaanaa, saaree khudaayee
gul saajan ko geet sunaane, bulbul baag mein waapas aayee

fem-raja bahut achchhi kahanee hai

yaad sadaa rakhanaa ye kahaanee, chaahe jeenaa, chaahe maranaa
tum bhee kisee se pyaar karo to, pyaar gula-o-bulabul saa karanaa...


Just a Side Note:
Had some1 put these lines into Bharti Yadav's ears, the pertinent case might have taken a different route altogether. She did try to strike out an optimum balance by not belittling the truth and yet maintain a certain stance which would hold her family in good stead. But still i feel that had she paid even a scant regard to the
fact that Nitish had to die coz he loved her, the tilt might have been towards the deceased's family.
His bros are not agents of death sent from hell,they must have tried to persuade Nitish out of the situation. The fact that he died is ample testimony to the fact that the heer-ranjha, romeo-julliet, and sohni-mahiwal that we are so proud of, our still somewhat embedded in the social fabric of our culture.